Meet: Doug the Quahog
Cape Cod’s Chief Spokesmollusk
1. What is your current occupation?
In layman’s terms, I’m a professional beachgoer. A few years ago, I hired a professional resume writer who reworded my occupation to sound more impressive. Now, I say I’m a beach connoisseur. That’s what’s on my LinkedIn profile.
And yes, mollusks are allowed to have LinkedIn profiles.
2. What do you love most about your job and why?
I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend all day working by the ocean? Aside from my dedicated desk at CapeSpace, my office is a literal sandbox.
Anyone who says work isn’t a day at the beach has never met me.
3. What has changed in your industry in the past five years?
These days, people are expecting a lot of us quahogs. I’ll take credit for most of it, especially with my Quahog Day predictions, which are legendary around these parts.
And science is showing just how valuable we are to the environment. We love nitrogen, which means us bivalves can play an important role in cleaning up our country’s waterways.
4. How has CapeSpace improved your work life?
As much as I love the beach, there are a lot of distractions, starting with those pesky seagulls. I’m so glad CapeSpace has a No Seagull Policy. Those birds are the bane of my existence!
And then there’s the waves. I love riding them, but they’ve ruined about 8 dozen of my computers when I work at the beach. I’ve been at CapeSpace since they opened in 2016 and not once have we been hit by a rogue wave. I call that smart planning on Robbin Orbison’s part.
Also, free coffee. You had me at cappuccino.
5. What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
Signing autographs and taking shell-fies with my fans. I’m kind of a big deal. I’m sort of like that guy The Rock, Dwayne Johnson. But I’m better because I’m The Shell.
I also like petitioning the governor to make Quahog Day a state holiday. I’ve written him about 78 messages in a bottle demanding that the first day of summer be recognized as such. Not sure if he’s received them.
6. What is your favorite place on Cape Cod?
Besides CapeSpace? Probably Cape Cod Inflatable Park – I love the water slides!
I also like any local business with either Doug or quahog in its name because I assume they named themselves after me. It’s all about me.
And don’t forget Race Point Beach in Provincetown. It’s where I say hello to my whale friends swimming close to the shore. Sometimes they’ll give me a ride around the bay – now that’s a real water taxi.
7. If you could invite any three people, living or dead, to a dinner party, who would they be and why?
That’s an easy one. I’d invite Sir Edmund Hillary and try to convince him (probably with my loving gaze) to take me with him on his next expedition so I could be the first quahog to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
I’d also want Michael Phelps there so he could show me how to swim. I’m more of a floater… Ok, some may say a sinker. I’m not proud of this, but I need some lessons.
And finally, I’d want Muhammad Ali to be there. I’ve always wanted to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. Not to mention, he could protect me from any butter knives and Tabasco that unwittingly found their way onto the dinner table.
8. What is your superpower?
With all apologies to Punxsutawney Phil, I’m the greatest weather-predicting animal on the planet. My super power is meteorology – and my passion for forecasting the summer weather on Cape Cod.
I’ve been doing it every summer solstice since 2009. And I’ll be doing it once again later this month with my trusty sidekick Johnny Quahog by my side. Stay tuned!
Learn more about Doug the Quahog’s upcoming Quahog Day prediction here. And make sure to follow him on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.